[When it comes to degeneracy, Diva's phone is chock full of it. Nude pictures, raunchy texts, nasty exchanges between her and Tsurugi engaging in all sorts of gross roleplay. Her dominant has a mommy kink and it's second nature for the Chiropteran to indulge him in it by now. What Sebastian receives accidentally instead of her boyfriend is a picture of Diva in nothing more than a frilly apron, the front pulled down to expose her breasts. Her face isn't visible but it's clear from the backdrop that it's the kitchen of the cottage Sebastian now cleans on a regular basis. It's the text that really is the icing on the proverbial cake so to speak - completely and utterly inappropriate:]
[... DIVA. Sebastian thought the vampire couldn't surprise him anymore, but the sheer level of inappropriateness in one picture and the crass level of her writing surely takes the cake. This has actually managed to shock Sebastian enough that the demon's eyebrows look like they're trying to escape into his scalp]
Good heavens, this is a mistake on several levels. Shame on you, Lady Diva, do you know nothing of propriety?
[ Attached is just a picture of his 4 separate genital piercings. Rock hard, clearly, with his hand around it though he doesn't seem to actually be masturbating. ]
I don't know if it's just a side-effect, but this has definitely been longer than 4 hours.
[While he doesn't know how this man - creature? - has his contact information, he takes it upon himself to take a good, long look at that photograph. Those are...piercings, yes? Not some malformed growth thanks to human evolution?]
Sir, while I can hardly claim to be a doctor, I would warrant that having an erection for longer than 4 hours is most concerning.
[ for the amount of texts sent in the course of days, he's kinda frustrated at this point. WHY HIS WOMEN HAVE NOT ANSWERED, ARE THEY ANGRY?! they didn't seem so before. ]
You're not interested in me taking you from behind? Is it too crass?
[ He had been planning to just speak to Sebastian in person once the Submissive came home, but between being at work all day himself and overthinking everything Diva had texted to him earlier today he figures a quick message should be fine. Sebastian was efficient, after all. ]
[Sebastian is still healing, at this point more due to Anduin's accursed Light and less to the gunshot. Still, that is no excuse for a butler to fail to respond by written correspondence]
My deepest apologies for failing to clean this week. As you know, things were most...eventful in the Down. I'm afraid that I couldn't escape them and I may need some personal time off to recover. I thank you for your understanding!
I've left a gift for you in your room for whenever you make it home today. Good luck with your work as always!
[ A simple text, but not a simple gift.
This had been a long time coming. For various reasons, Wataru had been wanting to give Sebastian a present. Gratitude, worry, sympathy for his injuries--all very specific feelings that he could pinpoint with accuracy, and a few of simple fondness that he was unsure of. So, clearly, the best thing to do would be to fill Sebastian's new room in their new house absolutely full of various darker hued flowers. Each vase carefully arranged and organized to perfection.
[Suffice to say, returning to his quarters to a surprise such is this is certainly unprecedented! A butler generally doesn't expect to receive gifts, much less something as extravagant as this: between the flowers artfully placed in arrangements that bring out their tasteful color scheme to the black box sitting on his nightstand. The pen is exquisite. The ink well matches and he's astonished at the attention to detail with the a cat captured in silver detail.
He would question what the occasion is, but he is beginning to realize that if there isn't one, Wataru will simply make one]
Your decorating and floral sensibilities are unmatched, sir! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for such a beautiful arrangement, and for the marvelous pen and ink well - I will naturally use them in my duties.
{ texting }
un: diva i'm so sorry...
hey baby
come home early and mommy will spoil you
un: michaelis
Good heavens, this is a mistake on several levels. Shame on you, Lady Diva, do you know nothing of propriety?
1/3
2/3
3/3
i meant to send that to tsurugi...
but theres nothing wrong with it
its a good picture
Re: 3/3
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un: usagimodoki
I don't know if it's just a side-effect, but this has definitely been longer than 4 hours.
un: michaelis
Sir, while I can hardly claim to be a doctor, I would warrant that having an erection for longer than 4 hours is most concerning.
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My bad. Was supposed to go to someone else.
[ Despite how it looks he's not the kind of guy to just throw dick pics out into the ether to see what sticks. ]
Half joke. But can I really go to a doctor if they're the ones that gave me the pills that caused this in the first place?
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omg now we're just being nitpicky assholes I love it
$20 is $20...
:D
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A+ Noize, you finally got Sebastian to give the thumbs up
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text ⇁ action
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text; un: black.flounder (shoot sorry had to do this here)
You're not interested in me taking you from behind? Is it too crass?
un: michaelis
[He highly doubts a mortal alive can sneak up on him from behind, so.]
hahah!
....... Am I that bad in that position? Mean. So mean as usual.
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1/2
2/3 no i lied
done!
Re: done!
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how did sebastian know he fails at bad writing and grammar? 😶😯😮
i brainfarted between our two threads D:!
no, you didn't! XD he did get it coincidentally
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mistext; un: tribrid
un: michaelis
[Is this more of that modern age lingo? The one where mortals are too lazy for something as simple as spelling?]
un; amazing
Majordome, are you human?
un: michaelis
Why wouldn't I be, sir? Is there something you find lacking in my work?
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text | un: diva after the event...im sorry
you never showed up to tidy the cottage
a friend of mine died so...youre not right
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My deepest apologies for failing to clean this week. As you know, things were most...eventful in the Down. I'm afraid that I couldn't escape them and I may need some personal time off to recover. I thank you for your understanding!
[As annoying as it is to admit it]
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un: amazing
[ A simple text, but not a simple gift.
This had been a long time coming. For various reasons, Wataru had been wanting to give Sebastian a present. Gratitude, worry, sympathy for his injuries--all very specific feelings that he could pinpoint with accuracy, and a few of simple fondness that he was unsure of. So, clearly, the best thing to do would be to fill Sebastian's new room in their new house absolutely full of various darker hued flowers. Each vase carefully arranged and organized to perfection.
Sitting neatly on the bedside table is a simple black box that contains a well-crafted dip pen, an ink well with a silver cat figured cap, as well as a pale blue silk handkerchief. ]
un: michaelis
He would question what the occasion is, but he is beginning to realize that if there isn't one, Wataru will simply make one]
Your decorating and floral sensibilities are unmatched, sir! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for such a beautiful arrangement, and for the marvelous pen and ink well - I will naturally use them in my duties.
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text; un: black.flounder
Ah, good day Sebastian-san!
It's Okita.
{ text } un: michaelis
Good afternoon, Mr. Okita. I trust you are finding today pleasant?
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un: amazing
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